The anti crapitalist

Madness is decending upon me....

Monday, April 03, 2006

Christ; harassed until I get of my fat arse and annoy people.

Been pissed off recently thinking about Norman Fucking Kember. I don‘t believe that “fucking“ is his middle name but he‘ll always be Norman Fucking Kember to me.

He is one guy that makes me believe that there a competition going on amongst god-botherers in this world do the most fucked up, stupid, crazy things in the name of God.

You get the most fake war ever convened, that uses some fucking lunatics misguided belief in his God to invade another country, and then it becomes fucking Center Parcs for tambourine wielding, patterned jumper wearing, lunatics like Kember.

There must be adverts in Christian Simpleton Weekly that runs …

“Bored shitless by the lack of non Muslims to convert in Pinner / Reading / Milton Keynes [insert shit-boring featureless UK town of your choice] then why not come to Iraq! There‘s plenty of angry disaffected people to try to convert, and they‘re all armed, dangerous and angry as fuck. If you‘re lucky you get to shit in a bucket with three of your Christian brothers for three months and eat stale bread before being shot in the head. Don‘t believe what the Foreign Office say, book your ticket today. Its fucking brilliant!”

Anyway.

These people are dangerous; they should not be let loose in our society never mind anywhere where people carry AK47’s as fashion accessories.

So I rang my local Christian Aid number and offered my services to “Go to Iraq and tell heathens about God” and you know what?

The bastards tried to talk me out of it.

Straight up. They said it was not a good idea and that there were plenty of ways I could help them staying in the UK.

“But I want to go to Iraq” I said “I want to dedicate my life to helping those who need it most”

Again they pointed out that it was not a good idea and that there were loads of things I can do like stuff used clothes into bin bags and pack food; that sort of stuff.

“But I want to go to Iraq” I said

“Well your on your own they finally relented”

So much for the pioneer spirit!

Anyway

I bet there would be no risk if ever I got caught. Quick tip to those still out there - just sing “Kum by fucking ah” every fucking night for an hour and you’ll be out by the third day. That’s if they don’t shoot you first.

5 Comments:

At 2:19 AM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

How do they get there anyway? Even Ryan Air don't go there..I don't think.

Must go to church this Sunday and see if the Vicar has got her special guest. "Mr Norman F Kember discusses God, bible studies in Baghdad and shitting in a bucket"

Place'll be packed out...

(Nice to see harrassment works - how was the Eastern European babe then?)

 
At 4:27 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

Thought you had been kidnapped!

Theres another mad woman christian saying that she wants to do Gods work in Iraq and that she is prepared to die for peace.

I feel for the poor bastards that will have to go and resuce the stupid fucker.

Norman Fucking Kember, they only let him go because he was doing their fucking heads in, it would be like kidnapping a jehovahs witness. You would just surrender to the pigs in the end.

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

You must feel like four dinners and my 'blog bitch'. You know you love it your dirty man.

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger The Anti Crapitalist said...

Blog-bitch is quite cool actually. Never been anyones bitch before. Its better than shitting in a bucket in a Bagdad basement.

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

read n learn

 

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