The anti crapitalist

Madness is decending upon me....

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Four by f**kers

My nihlistic driving tendancies came out on my way home from work yesterday, leaving some four by four driving ponce and his pseudo footballers-wife with a very big bill.
Don't you just hate those arseholes with their blacked-out windowed, chrome wheeled, twat-mobiles that think they own the road? There just mobile pond life, in Gap clothes.
Well I could see Mr Big Bollocks "Look at me my cars so huge" at the roundabout and something just pissed me off about him driving around like he's David Fucking Beckham with his dumb chav-scum wife on her flip up mobile phone. I had the right of way but Mr Ponce decides that because he's got bullbars, and because his car is so big and threatening he can just force me to stop.
Wrong!
Here's a quick lesson in driving ettiquite - I drive a 20 year old Merc that weighs 2 tons and its so battle scarred that I don't give a shit where it ends up. You on the other hand own a brand new ponce-mobile that cost fifty grand and does not look good with the side hanging out of it.
I almost saw him cry as I grated down the side of it. I reckon I got every panel on the passenger side before he stopped.
Had a great argument afterwards to. He went totally fucking ballistic. It was great.
Called me a fucking moron, and my car a piece of shit [it is], and then I guessed I could get him a bit more angry so I walked up and down surveying the damage before saying calmly "What a shame, it was a lovely paint job".
He called the cops.
After more arguing they agreed I had the right of way and noted it on the accident report so it looks like his insurers are going to pay to fix my car up.
What a result.
What a twat.

8 Comments:

At 10:56 AM, Blogger * (asterisk) said...

I've always wanted to get a battered-up old proper farm jeep and just not give a fuck when those cocks come at me in their shiny ponce-mobiles. Good on ya!

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

Should see my car mate. Full of battle scabs. Taught my lad that those 4x4's are called Wanker Tanks.

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger Camie Vog said...

You are my HERO!!! I think I LOVE you! I know that I am already the president of the OLD Pretenders F.C. Fan Club, but I really want to head your fan club, too! Too bad you didn't have a camera phone on you. Pics of that would have been priceless!

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

magic magic magic magic. If I wasn't married I'd marry yer. You are a star.

 
At 3:44 PM, Blogger Cynnie said...

drivers here all want to go first..if a street lights out it's every man for himself..
My car is old and paid for ..and I'm not taking it back to the states..so I dare the fuckers to try to go before me..I'm the biggest dick on the road..
I'll join his fan club camie..
I'm in love with him myself!

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

fuckin A hahhahah shoulda kicked tha pseudowife

 
At 4:52 AM, Blogger Sir Stewart Wallace said...

Beautiful.
Only slightly marred by the arsehole not actually daring to lift his hands to you.
An assault charge on top of everything else would just have been too perfect for this imperfect world.

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger The Anti Crapitalist said...

Actually camera phone is a great idea. Must buy one, for next time!

 

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