The anti crapitalist

Madness is decending upon me....

Friday, April 07, 2006

Welcome to Shite Club

I’m always pleased when one of my all time favourite films is re screened on TV, and it prompted by to read the book again which is probably the fourth time I’ve read it in the last couple of years.

I love Chuck Palahniuk’s core theme in Fight Club; that consumerism stinks and in the end most of western civilisation is no longer living in the real, gritty, piss strained world as we retreat into some pathetic middle class fantasy-land where we don’t have to use brute force and instinct to survive, but depend on assholes as our sole source of income.

The lives we are living today are increasingly false, the branding and marketing people are taking over and so I have decided to set up Shite Club

There are only two things you need to know about Shite Club ….

Anyway.

The system we live in thrives on bullshit, and in order to improve your lives you have to buy into the bullshit around you, and also generate more bullshit that people can feed off. It’s a bullshit multi-marketing scheme.

It goes something like this.

Someone in your street buys a new car. Its shit, and after a few weeks he realises it shit. But in the pub he doesn‘t want to appear like a knob whose bought a shit car so he can’t stop telling you how great his new car is, and how much better his car is than yours. After a few weeks you get sick of listening to him telling you how great his new car is. You go out and buy a new car [that you can‘t afford] that is the one model up from his. He’s pissed off. Three weeks later you realise that you bought a shit car that you can‘t afford. But so that you don‘t want to admit you‘ve been conned, you start telling people down the pub how great your new car is. Three of them go out and buy similar cars they can’t afford either.

Familiar? Welcome to Shite Club

Shite Club starts on Amazon.com, on e-bay, on your banking website; on any web based sales site that relies on “honest” customer feedback to bring in more sales.

You post feedback like

“Shit product. I feel cheated that I bought it”

Or

“Guy took twenty days to dispatch this item and it was broken. What a cunt”

Or

“This phone / camera / gadget is so crummy I am asking for a refund”

You post anything that that offers 100% honest feedback about the product you bought, and the reason you felt let down when you opened the box with the crappy item inside.

I have started this on one of the sites and found out that they pulled the postings off, so I complained to the site manager that they are massaging the feedback to con people into buying duff goods. Bingo. The feedback gets posted and there’s nothing they can do about it.

So …

There’s only one rule about Shite Club - it’s a club for people who bought shite and aren’t embarrassed to admit it.

Membership is free, sign up all your friends.

14 Comments:

At 2:09 PM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

I've bought so much shite I'd need an hour...2 hours to type it all out. That's after the 4? hours I'd need to remember most of it.

I now confine myself to buying vodka n beer. Sometimes the beers shite but the vodka never is. Everything else is bought by Little Caz. Any shite in our house is therefore her fault.

Works for me.

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

I dont buy owt. Ever. I spend all my money on food and booze and cheap clothes with no labels on.
Ebay is for nonces (PC Cunt at work buys his ridiculous child labour prada fucking shorts from there).
I download all my music for free and go to the library for me books.
I will bring down civilization for sure with my evil ways.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

so were do u return a shite life? were do u return it wen its damaged goods? u english guys r great ranters.

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

You are begining to sound more English puppy. Shite is such a nice word. Maybe you could write a poem about Bollocks, shite and wankers?

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger The Anti Crapitalist said...

"Cunt" is much better than shite.

Just calling someone a "cunt" is guaranteed fight territory; you don't even have to dress it up with any posturing.

"You're a cunt ... bang!

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger Camie Vog said...

"Cunt Club"! Now there is an image!

 
At 10:04 AM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

I'll join. Send me membership off right away please.

Came close in 2003 on the Old Pretenders FC Tour to Cambridge. I was elected 'Punt of the Tour'. Least I think they said Punt....

 
At 6:36 AM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

Harrass, harrass, harrass, harrass, harrass, harrass (is it workin'?) harrass, harrass.....

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

I wonder about shite club. I feel just like Ed Norton. I even looked online for a real fight club. I am so fucking bored with everything, please get posting soon. Have a look at my blog if you are still 'alive' cos I think I am going nuts.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

Come on mate, get posting. Shown your blog to a few friends, they loved it.

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Camie Vog said...

post, post, please, please, post...

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

Erm......hello?

 
At 8:58 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

Look, I know you are a nihilist but this is taking the piss.
Get ranting you cunt.

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

fuck me 2 tears ..i think cunt is a great word its right up there with fuck as a usful word ie george bush is a fucking cunt

 

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