The anti crapitalist

Madness is decending upon me....

Saturday, May 27, 2006

David fucking Blaine
I see they are running a TV programme about the life and challenges of the uber tosser himself this evening, and it struck me that he has to be one of the most annoying wankers in the world.

Why is this guy famous? Just hearing his whiney voice try and justify the stupefying pointless shit that he does makes me want to go and slit my wrists.
I see he had to go to Times Square for his last stunt after that farcical attempt he had in London a few years back to live in a glass box [whoop do doo] manifestly fell on its arse. He can’t do anything in Britain again because the British people basically took the piss out of him and threw eggs at the twat because trying to live in a glass box suspended in mid air was just such a fucking stupid idea.
If you want to watch some delirious, emaciated guy, shit in a box in full public view you only have to hang round outside Victoria Coach Station. Its hardly a spectacle is it?.
But America seems to love David Blaine and now he’s failed his challenge in New York no doubt he’ll be back with some other monumentally pointless stunt at some point in time.
I can just see it now.
Cue whiney voice
“Well what I really felt I had to do for my next challenge was to hang by my balls, blindfold, from a balloon suspended above Niagra Falls, whilst a family of otters colonised my anus for a month. And you know; on the very last day after not eating, talking, or shitting for a month I have to do a swan dive into the Falls in a full suit of 16th Century Armour and make my escape in a Submarine made entirely from my own internal organs.
Cue pointless American chat show host cooing “Oh David you’re just sooo brave. We love you David”
Wanker. You just can't escape that fact.

11 Comments:

At 3:53 PM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

he is just tha same as the rest... a self promoting cunt

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger * (asterisk) said...

I've given up talking about him. I'm on a self-imposed ban. But, I hear you...

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

That title frightened the fuckin life out of me! Just for a minute I thought 'shit, first a glass box, then a water bubble now he's goin t' get laid suspended from the Eiffel Tower or someat'. Somebody just shoot the tosser please.

 
At 1:15 AM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

They should have put him in a box of shite and left him under the sea.......for ever.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Gentleman-hobbs said...

Fair comment AC.
I look at the publicity this wanker gets and realise what is wrong with the world. I wouldn't cross the road and piss on the shitferbrain cunt if he was on fire because I would be doing him a favour.
The day one of his stunts goes wrong I'll record it!

 
At 3:42 PM, Blogger infinitemuppets said...

Folks, I fear you´ve missed the central point about David Blaine, the single think that makes him very, very ace.

Blaine does ´magic´ in America:
admittedly a poor man´s Roy (or is it Siegfreid?), but still he´s revered as something between Houdini and Merlin. Like it´s real fucking magic.

Blaine comes to UK to sit in box: punters throw kebabs at the starving, pompous cunt, and even professional early-morning fat twat Eammon Holmes gives him his best ´Fuck off, you cunt´look since Anthea Turner last dropped one on the GMTV sofa.

Any cunt who can remind us what a shower or terrible cunts the Yanks has his place.

Admittedly, that place is a box above the Thames where we can all through shit at the cunt.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Cynnie said...

WHERE ARE YOU!!??
How dare you be having a life without your boggers

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger Cynnie said...

Bloggers too..fuck

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger Ranting Dullard said...

He does this from time to time. I think he is in an open prison somewhere and at the moment he is having to be a 'bitch' to some lakey.

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger Cynnie said...

This is exactly my luck!..
Its a given that ANYTIME I get a huge crush on anyone ..they get "aloof"
Maybe I am a stalker..
Maybe i SHOULD be a nun

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger The Anti Crapitalist said...

"Aloof?"

I bought one this morning and made some lovely butties.

 

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