The anti crapitalist

Madness is decending upon me....

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Cyber-cunts 3

Its .. Ta Da .... Barry Scott (or Gary Twott as my kids prefer).

(The Americans might be confused even more by this one).

First off what the frigging hell sort of name is "Cillit Bang"? Did he have a moment of revelation one morning whilst sat there having an early morning crap. I know says Barry Scott I'll call my new domestic cleaning product "Cillit Bang" that will really freak them out. They won't know what the fuck to think.

Or did a dyslexic pornsite operating mate offer him a domain name he bought whilst trying to purchase and he thought "fair enough, shame to let it go to waste".

Whatever the reason; mental name, mental advert.

As Cappy says the guy and the advert really get on your tits.


"Hi I'm Barry Scott, and this is Jill"

"Hi Barry"

"Hi Jill"

"Tell me all about the special fluid have you been working on Barry"

"Well Jill, I have spent ages devising a special fluid that will take all the gunk off your tuppence. I've made it all myself in my bathroom"


"Let me demonstrate Jill. If you'd be good enough to let me spray my magic fluid over your tuppence, I can prove that it will come up sparkly as a new pin. I call it the Cillit Bang effect"

"What's the Cillit Bang effect Barry?"

"Well Jill you get your tuppence out for the viewers ... if its a bit mucky don't worry. Now once its out you'll see that when I pump the trigger on my personal applicator .... hey presto .... you've got a spangly new tuppence without any effort at all"

"Wow Barry, that's brilliant. My tuppence looks like its just been freshly minted"

"Yes Jill it does"

"Well that's just fucking brilliant Barry. But explain to me again ... why the fuck is it called Cillit Bang?"

"Fuck knows Jill. Fuck knows"

I wanted to really have a real go at the guy but his Blog is an absolute belter - there is even an Irish Cillit Bang Gang [get it!] paying tribute to Barry Scott.

The man is becoming more cult than cunt (unfortunately)


At 6:03 PM, Blogger Camie Vog said...

He made this stuff in his bathroom? Maybe he is on to something. That's how Crystal Meth production got its start in the US. Can't say they have entertaining infomercials for it here, though. Just Frontline specials...

Sad to say, I had to look up "tuppence". I figured it was a coin, but I couldn't figure out why they needed to clean it.

Oh, the public library has finally gotten back to me about your book. Unfortunately, they can't find a copy of it in any library in this nation. I've asked for it for Christmas instead.

At 2:51 AM, Blogger * (asterisk) said...

I have nothing to say about this.

At 3:18 PM, Blogger Cynnie said...

jesus ..
you made me run dig up my glasses..
I thought that said Clit Bang..

At 3:21 PM, Blogger Cynnie said...

oh..and I'm gonna twist The dullards arm and make him send me his copy of your book..
and if he cries too much I'll Buy it..
I can't wait to read it!!

At 7:10 AM, Blogger lee said...

We got a guy like that here in America. I don't know his name but he sells some kind of home cleaning product on TV by YELLING ABOUT IT for 60 seconds. I guess it doesn't work bc I don't know the name of the product. He, along with Matthew Lesko are responsible for many awakenings. I despise them both.

For the record, I also thought it was called Clit Bang.

At 7:07 AM, Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

Clit Bang? Yes. Much better name. Probably was but you know what the censors are like. After three

1, 2, 3

"Keep yer hand off me ha'penny..." etc etc


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