It'll be fun to stay at the YMCA !!!

Having had my rant the other week, and following the arrival of a new computer to replace the one some bastard decided would be better in their house than mind, the results of my loan quest are below.

In the intervening period there was an article in the Times (can‘t find the link) suggesting that anyone who uses these sort of companies to consolidate unsecured credit and loan debts is a total fucking moron. If you have unsecured debts on cards and you can‘t pay them off they‘re unsecured so fuck them - you‘ll probably be made to feel uncomfortable but you’ll walk away more often than not. However roll these over to a “consolidation” loan secured on your home and you get into difficulties and you’re at the YMCA whilst Mr “I speak your fucking language mate” is living in your house you tosser.

These companies know this … this is why they want you to do just that so they can get your house on the cheap when you can‘t pay back the repayments at 18% APR.

This is the true reality of the business model.

Anyway …

It was hard to get a good discussion with the loan “advisors” (ie. teenagers clearly on commission working off a script) without giving away personal data and thereby risk receiving an avalanche or shite every time I open the door - so I found that I could get what I wanted better if I called a few of the usual suspects asking for “help” and “looking at options” because I’ve got myself into trouble with cards.

My premise was always this

I was twenty -five

I was a full time carer for my disabled mother

The house was in my name so that mothers benefits were not affected

I worked out of hour shifts at McDonalds after mother was in bed

I had £7,500 on four credit cards which I was “juggling“ but needed some extra money to see my internet girlfriend in Bulgaria in May

(Not that I was wanting to appear vulnerable in any way!)

Anyway just to prove that these people are the sort of heartless fuckers you always suspect they are, I am pleased to report that question three was always the starting point to the solution to my frivolous addiction to cards once all the bullshit and niceties were out of the way.

They all had a similar script that went something like this …

“So you own your own home, Sir”

“Well yes I suppose I do. All the bills and stuff are in my name because Mother signed it over to me a few years ago”

“But its your home. You don’t own it jointly or anything”

“No. Mother wanted to sign it over to me because it might affect her disability benefits”

“Ok. So you own the property. Do you have a mortgage?”

“No it was paid off when my Dad died”

“When was that”

“1996”

“Right so the own the house and there are no other mortgages or charges over it”

“Yes, that’s pretty much it”

“Right the mortgage was paid off in 1996. Do you know how much the house worth now?”

“I haven't thought about it. But the house across the road is for sale at £150,000 and its similar to ours”

And they went on from there - more interested in my Mum’s house than in my inept lifestyle and spending habits or even my income and ability to pay repayments

To do a full quote they would have to have my full details but from what I had said virtually all of them said they could certainly lend me around £15,000 to sort me out probably more if I could give them some more personal information so they could do a credit check.

“Would you like to take my name so that you can call me back?”

“Well yes. You’ve been really helpful. I was so worried and now I can see a away of moving forward. Thank you so much".

So there you go …

The key results of my research are that there are at least five loan companies advertising nationally across the UK that have absolutely no compunction (in principal) to kicking some elderly disabled woman out on the street because her fuckwitt son has re-mortgaged the family jewels to spend thousands visiting some Eastern European prozzie.

I would say that that is pretty class.