The anti crapitalist

Madness is decending upon me....

Monday, July 31, 2006

Not in my name ...

This will be short and sweet.

Been looking at the TV news tonight and it struck me that none of this shit would happen if we didn't pay tax. Well it wouldn't. Would it?

By paying tax we are giving money to fuckers like Bush and Blair and the EU, and the UN, to basically do stuff in our name that we don't agree with. Its just fucking stupid.

Without tax revenue who would George W Bush be? Some smuck with a hole in his arse pocket who could not afford to spend the Billions, upon Billions it takes to invade a foreign country and wage wars that are apparently in our interest when they are fucking not.

If we all stopped paying taxes tomorrow sure we would have no hospitals, or libraries, but millions upon millions of people could sleep safely in their beds knowing that a fleet of F16's won't be able to bomb the shit out of them because they couldn't afford the aviation fuel to put them in the air.

If we stopped paying tax there would be no money to waste of futile campaigns, no money to prop up oppressive Governments, no money to rip off the poor with.

Its tax dollars [and pounds, and euro's] that are creating the chaos around us at this present time, its tax dollars that are putting up our prices by creating fuel supply problems, and its tax dollars that are killing babies in foreign countries to pursue democracy [ie. more tax dollars paid by smucks to bankroll government objectives].

Its our money, we are paying for this, and we don't even agree with it.

The world is totally fucked up, and we are stupid enough to let it happen.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Yo arsehole!

Well the leader of the free world just proved finally and indisputably that he's some fucking third rate Texan Ali G impersonator. Yo Blair? What the fuck sort of way is that to address any other democratically elected leader at a forum of the most powerful countries on the planet.

I was just waiting for the onward threat that if events don't improve the Texas massive would roll into Lebanon and pop a cap in the ass of any mofo raghead that disrespected them or their bitches.
What a total fucking embarrassment that guy is, and what a piss-poor ambasador he is for US diplomatic relations with any other country.
Its times like this when I can really put the current global chaos into perspective. The world is totally fucked up, and getting more dangerous by the minute.
How to address people: extracts from the George W Bush book of global etiqitte:-
G8 meetings:
Tony Blair "Yo Blair"
Junichiro Koizumi: "Yo, get your you scrawny Jap ass over here"
Jacque Chirac: "Hey, you big nosed French cunt"
Paul Harper: "Yo you fucking moose fucker"
Diplomatic meetings
Kim Il Jong: "Hey you, the fat chink that looks like Elvis"
Hezbollah: "You guys all look the fucking same, which one of you towel-heads is the leader?"
I could go on and on ... but I'm tired.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Really shit things.
I hate crap and anyone who generates crap; basically because we are annoying the arse out of each other and wasting precious natural resources to make money selling crap that nobody wants or needs. In a hundred years from now we will have cut down every tree, used every drop of water, and burned every barrel of oil and all that we will have to show for it will be landfill sites full of the sort of shitty trinkets displayed below.
There are companies out there who spend hundreds of thousands of pounds buying and selling useless shit to the globally inept. They send you catalogues full or the stuff, bombard you with junk mail, deluge you with spam. For what? To sell you shit that you would never even of considered buying and which, more importantly, you will never ever use.
In fact if you’re a “good e-bayer” (ie. frequent mug) all you end up doing is re-selling the shit to people more stupid than you are. It’s like supermarket sweep for landfill; how many items can you get into your trolley before pouring them into a hole in the ground without even opening the packaging.
As a result I am compiling a shit list
of the crapest gadgets and implements mailed or spammed to me in recent
I will also be supplementing this list with a few shit ideas of my own which I think are dead certs to make me my first million.

Their description
The low-fat, high-bandwidth solution to your networked cooking needs is finally here [I kid you not]
Download recipes, enter in the type of food, weight and desired degree of doneness, and the iGrill handles the rest
AC's description
Shite, shite, shite, shite, shite. Thought it was a joke. It was not.

If your other half has got a bit of a sweet tooth why not slip into this heart shaped Belgium chocolate thong which is guaranteed to satisfy both of your appetites!
AC's description
Mmmh; Belgian chocolates that taste of someone else’s shit - just what I’ve always wanted.

AM / FM hands free binoculars
Their description:
Sportbinox are hands free binoculars that offer an optional am/fm radio to help follow the game, or just listen to relaxing music while enjoying nature. Bird watchers love them

AC's description:

What the FUCK. Anyone who buys these should be immediately arrested and locked up for their own good. “Look like Universal soldier whilst listening to a shit AM station and wanking under a dormitory window“.
Tony Allen came up with the idea for the Spider Catcher after spending years chasing spiders with a hoover or rolled up newspaper for his young son who was terrified of them
AC's description:

Surely Tony must now look back at all those wasted years when he could have devoted his life to cocaine and hookers, but decided to devote his life to spider catching instead. And its TEN QUID.

Casino Carousel chips & card holder

Their description:

Why not introduce some of the glitz, glamour and high risks of a night out at the betting tables in Las Vegas with this great casino card and chip holder [it costs £7.49]
AC's description:
Impress your friends with a shit £7 piece of tat that makes them believe you are a professional gambler [are they insane!] PS: it annoys me that ANY materials at all have been used to make this.

Suggested “anticrapitalist” branded tat


The John Prescott’s ring-piece pencil sharpener
AC's description:

Elegantly sculptured in pink silicon, this realistic representation of the Deputy Prime Ministers sphincter is a real “dead ringer” of a gift. Insert your pencil and watch him miraculously “swivel” in front of your eyes.
AC's comments:

We envisage a sell out over the next couple of weeks. We already have a bulk order from a “Mr Brown” (no pun intended) in Scotland.

George W Bush incontinence pants
AC's description:
Made our of plastic refined from real Alaskan oil; at least next time the policy decisions of the worlds favourite statesman cause you to shit yourself your pants will be fully “protectorised”
AC's comments:

Coming to a Wal-mart near you soon, if you don‘t shit yourself listening to the Presidential address first.
“I’m to clever to be on Big Brother” T-shirts
AC's description:

Register your joy at not being the sort of retarded fuckwitt that seeks fame and fortune by being filmed arguing and shitting for 8 weeks.
AC's comments:

Not sold any in Essex yet, but we remain hopeful that they will take off. Available in size XXXXL if you have tit’s the size of basketballs.
Combined dildo, torch, drinks stirrer, FM transmitter and cigarette lighter.
AC's description:

Imagine there is a power cut and all you want to do is have a fag and listen to Chris Moyles whilst wanking and knocking up a Martini. Well now you can with this useful five in one device!
AC's comments:
There really is strong demand for such a multi use device.

The Mark Oaten Bumomatic
AC's description:

Imagine that you’ve had a hard day voting or such like, and all you need to do is relax and stop worrying about losing your hair. Well the bumomatic stimulates hair growth via a new and totally unproven massage and stimulation technique. Just insert the bumomatic and watch that hairline reappear.
AC's comments:
The technology is unproven BUT if not totally satisfied refunds are available via cheque stamped “bumomatic anal stimulator refund” in red ink. If you dare to cash it you can have your money back with pleasure.
Normal anger will be resumed as soon as possible ........

Saturday, July 01, 2006


Well I'm not really into football but even I feel short-changed by that pile of shite display tonight.
What a shit-fest of mediocrity.

You have all that press speculation about how crucial Rooney is to the team and then he gets sent off for kicking someone in the balls, before they lose on penalties. Nice one you fucking muppet.
Fucking rubbish. Embarrassing. Shit. Pants.
Explain this to me.
I go to my boss who is paying me £200,000 a week and explain that I can't get a ball through a standard sized goal mouth at 20 paces without anyone being in the way.
What do you think he says.
Fucking rubbish. You're fucking sacked.
Don't worry if you're feeling bad why not buy another Aston Martin and shag some putrid bag of bones.
What a bunch of overpaid useless wankers.