Londons burning ......

Its all kicking off 'dahn sath' good luck to those who think wrecking a few Aston Martins owned by a bunch of morally bankrupt wankers is the key to the future ......... I wish I was with you.

Fucked Iraq, fucked the economy, fucked the world's banking system

What are you going to do for a fucking encore?

..... start a nuclear war?

The morally bankrupt and the criminally inept have dragged us into the gutter of history

Jay-Z at Glastonbury

Opened singing along to a shit CD of "Wonderwall"

Proceeded to badly rap over AC/ DCs "Back in Black"

Followed up with a shit mix of U2s "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and Whitesnakes "Ain't no love in the heart of the City"

What a fucking ABORTION of a set.

Plus he looks like a black Forrest fucking Gump.

Are today's kids so fucking stupid that they pay for this shit and don't even realise when someone is taking the piss out of them?

Society is doomed.

Bring on the financial meltdown.

As the Sex Pistols once said

"Ever had the feeling you've been cheated"

No, your too goddam fucking stupid ..............

Bemused.com

I'm not confused - JUST FUCK OFF

The thing they don't tell you about confused.com!

Ever seen their adverts on the telly about how easy it is to use this wonderful service to get an insurance quote? You just sit back and the website takes all the hassle out of it for you. They say.

Me goes online being a lazy arse because my car insurance is up and maybe I could get it cheaper. Stick stuff into the website, press button, "bing" up pops a list of quotes. Me has a quick look and prints it off. That should be the extent of the effort involved. Not with bemused.com!

Call 1 - 1 hour after getting a list of the best quotes

"Hi may names Martin Wankerface from Arsewipe insurance. I'm ringing to see if you want to go ahead"

Me. "I'm at work it was only an hour ago. I haven't read the information yet"

Wankerface "Well ours was the cheapest quote"

Me "Really"

Wankerface "Yes, do you want to go ahead"

Me "No because I have not read the quote I'm busy"

Wankerface "But it was the cheapest, do you want to go ahead?"

Me "No, I'm at work it was only an hour a go and I've not read the information"

Wankerface "It was £xxx. Is that a better quote than your current insurer?

Me "I'm at work I have no idea whether its cheaper or more expensive"

Wankerface "Why?"

Me "Because I don't know what I'm already paying because my policy is at home. Did I mention that I'm at work THREE FUCKING TIMES"

Wankerface "Well can I ring you back in an hour?"

Me "No"

Wankerface "Why not"

Me "BECAUSE I'LL STILL BE AT FUCKING WORK"

Wankerface "Two hours then?"

Click ... phone goes down

Call 2 - two hours later

Wankerface "Hi its Martin Wankerface again. I'm ringing about the cheapest quote we gave you on bemused.com".

Me "Yes. I've just got home. I haven't had time to read it yet"

Wankerface "But it was the cheapest quote. Do you want to go ahead"

Me "No because I've been home 5 minutes and I have not had time to read it yet"

Wankerface "Well when do you think you'll have read it"

Me "I'VE NO FUCKING IDEA"

Wankerface "Well can I ring back tomorrow"

Me "I might not have read it by then"

Wankerface "Well what if I ring you tomorrow lunchtime"

Me "I'll be at work I'll be busy"

Wankerface "Well what about 3:00pm?"

Me "Obviously I'll still be at work then. I'll be busy"

Wankerface "Well what about 6pm tomorrow then?"

Me "I'll have just got home from work. I might not have read the quote"

Wankerface "Well I'll ring you and see at 6pm"

Me "BUT I ONLY PUNCHED MY DETAILS INTO A FUCKING WEBSITE. I DON'T WANT TO SPEAK TO A REAL PERSON. I'VE NOT READ THE FRIGGING QUOTE"

Click ... phone goes down

Call 3 - same time next day

Wankerface"Hi this is Martin Wankerface from Arsewipe Insurance, have you read the quote we gave you yesterday?"

Me "Yes"

Wankerface "Well what do you think"

Me "Its ok but its only £5 less than I'm paying now and I can't be arsed with the hassle of changing for a fiver"

Wankerface "But its the cheapest quote"

Me "Yes, by a fiver and I can't be arsed moving to save a fiver"

Wankerface "But you wanted the cheapest quote"

Me "Yes, but its only a fiver so I'm not that bothered"

Wankerface "But Arsewipe Insurance are the cheapest and best in the UK"

Me "That may be but I'm not arguing over a fiver it ain't worth the hassle"

Wankerface"But ...."

Me "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ... FUCK OFF ... STICK YOUR FUCKING £5 UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE ... FUCK YOU ... FUCK YOUR COMPANY ... FUCK THE HORSE YOU RODE INTO TOWN ON ... JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU FUCKING CUNT"

2012 and all that shite





Is it me or does the London 2012 logo look like a graphic representation of a cat lifting its tail to have a shit?

The One and Only biggest pile of shite on TV

Jesus I'm fucking angry. Not blogged for ages and now confined to the spare room because if I have to watch that fucking shite fucking lookalike fucking "talent" fucking show on TV tonight for more than 10 seconds I'm going to spontaneously combust.

What the fuck is it about?

A bunch of losers that don't 1) sound or 2) look like their so-called look-alike take part in a fucking karaoke contest in front of an unamusing puff to win a prize.

Jesus fucking wept is this what civilisation has been reduced to?

Did we go through two world wars to end up with this sort of fucking shite served up as fucking entertainment? Fuck me! I think I'm going to fucking hang myself.

Whoever commissioned this needs to be buggered senseless by a team of eastern european gangmasters, drowned in a bath of shit, roasted over a hot spit, spat upon, hung, drawn and quartered, have forks forceably stuck into his eyeballs and then fired into space.

Jesus fucking Christ!

The world has gone totally fucking mad.

Christmas presents......

I've decided what I'm getting all my family and friends this year. I've just bought a shed load of teddies and I'm getting some little white T-shirts made up with "Mohammad" printed on the front.

Yes every fucker I know is getting a teddy called Mohammad this Christmas. I'm putting one in my window, another on the rear shelf of the car, and I'll even stick one at the top of the Christmas tree with a pine tree hanging out of his ring.

Then I think for New Year I'll get a few T-shirts made up with "Salman Rushdie for Pope" on them and we'll pop round to see our fundamentalist neighbours.

Fuck the lot of them the stupid, self-rightious, Islamic fuckwits.

Who the fuck even wants to go to a fucking shitehole like Sudan anyway. Its the arsehole of the fucking universe full of some of the dumbest people on the fucking planet.